So I unexpectedly found myself back in France, at the start of November. Turning a new leaf (get it) after my Thailand adventure. And this is my favourite season, especially when the weather cooperates as it has all month here down south. The red and orange leaves, the golden morning light, the pink streaked skies at sunrise, the deer running through fallow fields. Back to all our old haunts, popping into cathedrals, lighting candles, strolls on quiet country lanes and into the village after dark.
It’s good to be home.
Can’t believe it’s almost the end of this crazy year. Last post of 2024 next month! Stay cosy! Much love x
It feels like just yesterday I was first arriving in Thailand, choosing a place to live and figuring out how to survive driving on those roads. And now, here I am, thousands of miles away, both literally and metaphorically. Back home, watching the leaves fall and feeling the silence of the empty fields and sky, I have finally had the time and space to reflect.
It was a mix of exciting, scary, overwhelming, exhilarating, lonely, intense, fun and filled with experiences I will never forget. I was lucky to have been able to travel to so many places I’ve always wanted to go, from finally exploring Angkor Wat in Cambodia, to riding on the back of a motorbike through the busy streets of Ho Chi Minh, to travelling by bullet train in Japan. I will never forget the views from the top of the rocks I climbed in Laos, swimming with sharks in the Maldives, or sliding down a sand dune in the Qatari desert. I was so lucky to have explored so much of Asia. And in Thailand itself- swimming in the sea at sunset, watching monks collect alms on my way to work, swinging between coconut trees, snorkelling with rainbow colored fish, kayaking to paradise beaches, watching elephants from my room… there have been so many beautiful moments and memories here.
And some of my favourite moments were those with the people I met. Laughing with my hairdresser and patting her chihuahua. The two guys who gave me a lift back to my hotel after a night ocean swim on the back of their motorbike. The people at the restaurants who knew what I’d always order- plain rice and watermelon smoothie. And the friends I met- our beach walks and hiding from thunderstorms under the tables of restaurants, getting our boat stuck in the lillies and going to hundreds of temples.
There have been plenty of scary moments too. Just getting on the road each day, to start with, leave alone trying to negotiate the millions of motorbikes and crazy drivers in a huge pick up. And then, the inevitable car accidents. There were the hair raising motor bike rides and running away from a pack of dogs. There was getting lost and getting sick, far away from home. Which leads me on to say, I was surprisingly lonely. Not always, but often. I felt the distance, and the time difference.
From crazy disco tuk tuks and rooftop bar Bangkok nights, to bargaining for bananas and google translating plain rice, to the quiet sunsets from my balcony and myna birds who chirped while I swam in the pool. To the elephants and the sweet dogs and puppies and the cat that slept on the end of my bed. To the storms I’ve watched and been soaked in, to the blazing hot, blue skied days. To the mosquito bites and the tears and the laughs and the oh-my-god moments. I’ve lived more than I ever have, in this past year and a half. And for better or worse, I’ve learned so much.
Nothing quite like Europe in the summer, and after completing a year in Thailand, it felt so good to be heading home. It was a peaceful summer; catching up with family, lots of time and hugs for Suzi, boating, biking, long walks in the countryside, and we managed to squeeze in the Olympics, too.
India… so bittersweet. Always has been, but never more so than this time. Important to go back, but so hard. It was all as I remembered it; the brilliant blue heat-hazy skies, the pressure cookers, the singing cars, the autos whizzing, cows crossing, Jessie, at the gate. The bats and the sunsets and the stars. The Bollywood music, the colour, the dust. The kites calling at midday, echoing in the hot air. The bougainvillea, the crickets, the heat of the afternoon. Grandma’s plants, the swing, the photos on the wall.
Only he was missing, his chair empty, the TV, silent.
Having spent a year in the South of France, there’s certain things I’ve noticed…
There’s a lot of mosquitoes. And bugs and worms longer than a meter, and snakes, and frogs that insist on coming into the house. But there’s also beautiful families of deer that graze in the field across from the house, and even wild boar that sprint across the countryside.
Hardly anyone speaks English. I guess this is a France thing in general, so I was forced to pull out the dusty high school French, and learned to gesture almost as much as everyone here to get my point across (there’s google translate, for emergencies). However, everyone is patient with my painfully slow speaking, and most people here are friendly, anyway.
Almost every town is cute and will make you want to buy a house there. No joke, each town is cuter than the next, with views that make you want to give up everything and spend the rest of your life right there.
You need to carry a stick at all times. There are feral dogs in almost every town. I’m warning you.
You’ll get burnt/ leave several shades darker. It really is sunny and warm most of the year. There are some cold days and nights though, and when it rains, it pours, but mostly, it’s Summer time.
You’ll get to know people fast. Everyone knows me now, probably as the strange foreign person, but still. And even the cats are our friends (Spud and Celery, I’m talking to you).
You’ll need a car to explore. There’s not much connectivity here, but the surrounding towns and villages and countryside are full of beauty and just need to be explored. From the Mountain views in winter to the fields of sunflowers in summer, and the cute villages of cottages and crumbling churches.
You won’t want to leave. Hotel California has nothing on this place.
I don’t know about you, but it feels like lately fatigue is real. It’s like the past two years have drained you emotionally, and there’s not much left… and then more stuff comes along, like it always has and always will, and you’re just kind of left feeling completely exhausted. And then there’s the fact that it feels like time is passing fast, and yet, and yet… what have I done?
I always try to make my writing here super upbeat and positive, so this post will probably feel a bit different. But still… I don’t want to dwell on the ‘meh’ for too long, because ‘it is what it is’. If we don’t try at least to enjoy the small moments, and be thankful for what we have, then there’s not a lot left. So, taking inspiration from Suzi, who is almost always upbeat, other than early mornings (because really, why do mornings come so fast), let me try to put into words the GOOD, instead of the bad and sad.
Let’s start with the fact that the days are longer, there’s a lot of sunshine, it’s a dry spring, the blackbirds are singing. And I can sit in the garden for hours and enjoy all that, with Suzi. That’s something, right? And we have a big house and garden and space and miles of water and greenery all around. That’s something too, right?
And then there’s all the adventures I’ve had. When I’m missing those things, I should stop and think of them. I’ve seen a pride of lions and herds of elephants in the Tanzanian savannah, ridden a long-tail boat to a paradise Thai island, travelled in a sleeper train in India, traveled across the African hinterland, from Mozambique to Zimbabwe. I’ve surfed the waves in Portugal, discovered hidden beaches in Corfu, swam with wild dolphins through bright blue ocean in Mauritius. I’ve seen the world’s tallest building in Dubai, and one of the world’s oldest, in Rome. I’ve stumbled across the most beautiful abandoned French castles, watched the sun rise over the ocean in The Bahamas, skied in the Alps, slid down a waterfall in the Malaysian jungle, spotted puffins and seals in Scotland.
That’s quite a lot, right? And there’s so many more. And I’m lucky to have a sister to do most of these things with, and a crazy dog who is game for a hell of a lot too. And so many, many memories of another one, who I miss everyday. And on that note… no amount of time will ever be enough with them, or anyone you love. And if there’s one thing I know I’ve learned, it’s that.
The amount of time you’ve got here is limited, and you can only do what you can do. I know I’ll often feel I should have done more, and that I will often feel down when it all feels too much. When that happens, I promise I’ll come back here, and re read this. And remind myself that we all have bad days, bad months, years, decades. But in between, there’s some real good stuff, too. And a few people and a couple of sweet dogs, too. Thanks y’all xxx
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